A networking meeting that didn’t suck

So yesterday I went to a Biznik networking meeting in Marina Del Rey, hosted by Colleen Wainwright and Heather Parlato.

Sounds like the first line of a joke.

And boy are my arms tired! Hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Here’s the thing: I am not social. The reason I am not social is partly by disposition (the lifestyle of a hermit appeals to me), and partly due to domestic bliss that I enjoy with my wife. Basically I have about zero internal social needs. I’m socially sated.

So my “social” motivation isn’t really social; it’s business, which is why I went to this networking get-together.

Normally I find networking meetings of this type gawd-awful boring, and after debriefing yesterday’s meeting, I have figured out why. It is because I bore myself. I hate hearing me talk about me.

On the other hand, I find other people interesting. It’s the journalist/voyeur aspect of me that enjoys sussing what other people do and why.

At yesterday’s meeting I found three people interesting. Or I should say, I had three conversations that I found interesting. Everyone is interesting, but I only really interacted with three people.

The first is Collen Wainwright, with whom I have traded a few emails prior to the meeting and have gotten to know through her somewhat revealing blog.

There wasn’t any new information gleaned from my interaction with Colleen, but meeting and talking with her in person, regardless of the content, is informative on an entirely different level than on mediated levels. I don’t know what it is (something psychic? spiritual? imagined?) about in-person communication, but it is qualitatively different than communicating via some technology.

The second interaction was noteworthy because it revealed just how much I bore myself and why I normally hate networking meetings/events. This was with Dyana Valentine, who struck me as a networking pro because the first thing she did was ask me a question about me. It went down hill from there.

Note to self: whenever I am the subject of conversation, make every effort to change the subject.

The third interaction was the pay-off for the evening. Paul Scarzo sells whole-house water filtration systems for a company called LifeSource. At first, it seemed like he was at the wrong meeting. Biznik is by and for people who generally fall in the category of “solopreneurs” — usually singe-person service providers or freelancers. Most of the people at the meeting were self-employed graphic designers.

When Dyana asked Paul what his “passion” was, Paul answered, “to make as much money as possible before I die.” That pretty much killed Dyana’s conversation-opening gambit. I thought it was a funny answer because it was kind of inappropriate. Even though at some level everyone is there to make money, it’s crass to come out a say so. Of course Paul was being sardonic, but poor Dyana was caught flat-footed because he delivered his answer entirely straight. And of course, it was probably ultimately the true answer, at a certain level.

It turns out that Paul has been selling whole-house water filtration systems only for the last 5 months. For 15 years he was an animator, having worked for Hanna Barbera, Disney, Saban, and a host of other projects/companies. After seeing his work as an animator out-sourced and off-shored, his priority is making a living, while trying to make something of 15 years of experience, training and talent in animation production.

It took a while to get that out of Paul. He’s not a networking pro like Dyana — he doesn’t have an elevator pitch for his life and “career,” which is probably why I found him interesting right away. I probably interpreted his sardonic signaling like a “Danger: No Trespassing” sign. Such signs are just invitations to see what is going on over there.

Jim Bursch  I am the creator of MyMindshare.